


I can't take my eyes off you

by HisGlasses



Series: kaleidoscope of shenanigans (non-Ignoct drabbles) [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble, I still don't know how I feel about this, M/M, POV First Person, Reminiscing, Self-Pity, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, but it's absolutely there, he sure has some ego, it's not even detailed Promptis, slightly obsessed Iggy, while Iggy is wallowing in self-pity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21604468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisGlasses/pseuds/HisGlasses
Summary: Ignis thinks back to things that have come to pass in his life.
Relationships: Noctis Lucis Caelum & Ignis Scientia, Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Series: kaleidoscope of shenanigans (non-Ignoct drabbles) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1113564
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	I can't take my eyes off you

**Author's Note:**

> This needed out and I didn't know where to put it. In case you enjoy reading this, please go ahead but I'm not very proud of wording and imagery this time. Just a quick thought brought into understandable shape. The patches are rough but I just wanted it out. I lost the grip on Iggy on the way through this and the characterisation doesn't sit quite well. Not all writing has to be good, I guess.
> 
> Putting this together felt a little like when I was writing "Between The Lines" way back then. 
> 
> I'd like to write something longer and with a good spine again some time... Here's to hoping.
> 
> Not beta-ed and not edited.

That time when I saw you lying unconscious in that bed and your soul was holding on for dear life felt like the first time I was actually looking at you. A small body, so frail and still, unmoving but for the rise and fall of your chest. It was unfair, I thought back then, clenching my fists over my knees and shedding frustrated tears. You shouldn’t have had to go through this. Nobody was allowed to hurt you like that. What did you do wrong by merely existing, I thought. 

Then, when your eyes opened and you turned your head, calling out for your father with that hoarse voice of yours, I thanked the Gods. All the tears shed and all the prayers sent had not gone to naught, I thought. I saw how the reveal of your blue eyes transformed grief into relief and, being merely a child myself, I was certain this was a work of magic.

“Don’t worry”, I remember you say with that innocent smile. “I’ll always come back, no matter if I get lost. Carbuncle will help me get back on my feet.”

But something had vanished with your waking. I am not talking about your ability to walk but an essential part of yourself that had gone missing. It was all the more visible when you returned from Tenebrae – evacuated from yet another life threat. There was no joy in you, no spark to light your features. I do remember how strongly I wished to be Carbuncle instead of my useless self. 

So I tried. Reading books to help you sleep, show you stars so they might spare some twinkling shards to illuminate those dull eyes of yours, hiding my own troubles to only show you my best side. To guide that lost piece back where it belongs. And then, one day when I brought cookies I had asked the kitchen lady for, I finally felt like I could do it.  
I saw that smile crossing your face – a shadow compared to the past but it was there. It was not lost, I saw it. That was when I swore myself to protect it. I would be the one to make sure you would be alright.

After you recovered, I always accompanied you to school and back. It still feels like only yesterday. It was not like you were smiling just because I was there and I hadn’t been expecting that but I sensed you felt less nervous. I saw it in how your hands unclenched whenever we sat in the backseat of the car and with that tiny sigh you let out to shake the tension from your shoulders. I would ask you about your day and try to cheer you up. Of course it didn’t always work but I always had the impression you appreciated.

I wasn’t sure if it was school that was bothering you or the boy that seemed to always sneak up behind you. I saw him looking at you at the gate, bluish eyes behind glasses whenever I came to get you. For a long while I was worried he might be harassing you but I never brought him up in our conversations. Upsetting you was not a risk to take.

By the time you got into high school, I learned that quite the opposite was the case. I remembered that freckled face and those anxious eyes and was surprised to see you together. You laughed at me when I told you how I held back that topic and for what reason.  
“You’re kidding, right? He’s my friend.”

But that was not what I saw. It might have been a mistake to have thought Prompto had harm in mind when approaching you, yes, but he was never a friend. You and I were friends but you changed whenever you were around him. Big laughter with arms hooked around each other, freedom and happiness impersonated. A smile I never saw before.

It didn’t take me long to find proof of that difference. It was the evening after your final exams. I came over to your apartment to prepare dinner when I saw you from the shadow of the entrance hall, kissing on the sofa with your hands on his thighs. The moments after were filled with awkwardness I was trying to gloss over with the sarcasm I had learned to grow but it was hard to take in.

That’s when I realised.  
I didn’t wish to be Carbuncle anymore, like I did when I was still a child. Before I knew it I wished to be Prompto instead.

And still it was me you came to when the news of your engagement reached you, bringing along anger you decided to throw at me. It was my shoulder you decided to cry on, claiming that things were not fair. I shouldn’t have been but I was happy you cried with me.With a hand on your back there was nothing left for me to do but agree.  
It was unfair.

It was also me who first saw the news of Insomnia’s fall and how devastated it left you. How I couldn’t ease that pain, not even temporarily. We all started to tread around you lightly, but I know that only Prompto had your permission to see you crumble. You were trying to hide the hickeys when we left the motel and yet again I couldn’t help seeing them.

We were drifting apart step by step and that nagging feeling remained.  
I wished I was him.

And then everything went over board when Altissia happened. Prompto was mindless enough to chase after you when Leviathan appeared from the roaring depths, successfully taking you to her, as he reported. But things went wrong, so wrong. I could sense it when I saw the pillar of golden light coming from the crumbled altar. Magic only the Oracle possesses, a beacon crying out for help.

Yet again your life was threatened but this time I would be the one to finally protect you. And I did. At high cost but I did. I was prepared to lay down my life, if only I could be the one for once. The one who would do anything for you. The picture of you was forcefully burnt off my lids in a futile act, with the excuse of wanting to be useful.

What a fool I was for thanking the Gods to bring you back. What a fool I was for thinking that Ardyn had been pulling the strings. I couldn’t grasp the magnitude of things.

You were distancing yourself after you woke, sick with guilt and set on revenge. Nobody told you how I got injured, I asked them not to and even now I think it was for the best. Still I remember hearing you cry at night about the damage, slipping into Prompto’s bed to seek refuge. It got only worse when Ardyn made you push him off the train.

I know it’s useless to drown in memories and it still is hard to think about the parts of our journey that followed. An inevitable fate that had been etched out ever since your birth. Those endless years that left their deep scars on all of us, followed by a Dawn that took you away. 

It’s unfair.

And even though my eyes should not be allowing it anymore: I still see you.


End file.
